Thursday 17th December 1999Bradford - Rio'sThis morning I was awoken by the sound of a chorus of farts, mostly my own, I must admit. I guess that 11 days of beer, curry, chilli and spicy bumburners have taken the toll on my digestive system. There was a big queue for the shower, I was last in the line and it takes a long time for 7 people to wash, brush and whatever anyone does in the bathroom. I took the time to write the tour diary and toast a few crumpets. Yes, indeed, I AM so rock n roll. Well, I waved bye bye to the girls that we picked up last night, had a snort of cocaine to restore my equilibrium then opened a bottle of jack to calm the effects of the coke. My knob was sore from the frenzied and bizarre sex session that we all shared in last night. I think that Harry will never be the same again. Before long it was time, once again, to load up that van and head back onto the M1, into traffic, chaos and expensive burgers. It was fairly easy to find Rio's, and when we walked in I had a real sense of Deja Vu, I thought that I hadn't been there before, but now I'm not so sure. I had a sense of forboding about tonight's gigs and told Alain that there would only be 20 people and a small dog at tonight's gig. After the soundcheck we went out in search of food and ended up in a pub in full karoake, christmas office party swing. It was packed to the rafters with drunken and extremely friendly Bradfordonians. After a while we started feeling a little claustrophobic so went over to a nearby pizza parlour.We took our pizzas back to the venue and listened to the support band from the safety of our dressing room. Many apologies to the band, but I never did find out their name. They sounded pretty good from the dressing room though and did a nice version of Urban Spaceman. The venue was almost empty when we finally got the courage to go on-stage. I reckon that there was 30 people in a room that could hold about 300 ;-( It was a really hard gig to play as we were all feeling a bit under the weather and from the stage it looked as though there was no one there at all. We got throught the set and even managed to do really great versions of Benjamin and Jumble, Birthday and Rose. Band morale was pretty low when we returned to the dressing room, but soon we had a few visitors who told us that it was a great gig and they were really apologetic about the poor turnout. The place turned into a heavy surf punk indie disco and we hung around for a while watching the venue begin to fill up with dancing, drunken youngsters, I wish that they had of been there when we were playing as they might have liked it. Oh well. We left the gig in search of a hotel, finally found a Travel Inn, booked two rooms, smuggled a few people in, drank the last few bottles of beer and hit the sack. Tomorrow is the last day of the tour, I hope that it is better than today, Love fruity xxx
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